...from Maria's Diary, one night when she lacked the courage to go out, to live or to continue waiting for the phone call that never came:

I spent today outside a fun fair. Since I can't afford to fritter my money away, I thought it best just to watch other people. I stood for a long time by the roller coaster, and I noticed that most people get on it in search for excitement, but that once it starts, they are terrified and want the cars to stop.


What do they expect? Having chosen adventure, shouldn't they be prepared to go the whole way? Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the up's and down's and spend all their time on a carousel, going round and round on the spot?


At the moment, i'm far too lonely to think about love, but I have to believe that it will happen, that I will find a job and that I am here because I chose this fate. The roller coaster is my life; life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; it's taking chances, falling over and getting up again; it's mountaineering; it's wanting to get to the very top of yourself and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don't manage.


It isn't easy being far from my family and from the language in which I can express all my feelings and emotions, but, from now on, whenever I feel depressed, I will remember that fun fair. If I had fallen asleep and suddenly woken up on a roller coaster, what would I feel?


Well, I would feel trapped and sick, terrified of every bend, wanting to get off. However, if I believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. It becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, I must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement.


From Eleven Minutes

My Beauty Essentials.

I LOVE red lipstick and this one right here is thee BEST!! M.A.C Ruby Woo is a matte rich lipstick that I layer on, depending on how much coverage I want. I've had this stick for about two years and it is well worth the $14.50 price! It is the perfect RED.

This honey dust is something I decided to add to my list of essentials for the reason that it is light, sweet, and I've had it for a long time. Its from Urban Decay, which is a makeup line I really like. It's good enough for daily use because it goes on light and it gives a subtle glow...nothing to glittery*. It's also edible soooooo it serves as a seductive flirty tool if need be!!! The price is a bit high at $29.00 but it's worth it because it will last a long time!! You can use it everyday or for special occasion...it also comes in Cocoa & Marshmallow scent!!

This is my absolute FAVORITE mascara of all time!!! I've tried others and always keep coming back to this one. L'Oreal Voluminous in Carbon Black never disappoints, it's the darkest black, richest, thickest mascara i've found at the drugstore. In my opinion, the closest to it is Dior Show mascara but at $7.50 L'Oreal is good to my wallet!! It makes my lashes thick without looking clumpy and it enhances my naturally long lashes. {Sidenote:: I recently tried their Million Lashes, that's a few dollars more only to realize that it still does not beat the original Voluminous!!} I will remain faithful to this mascara!!...{Now if only they made it in blue and purple!!} 

Avon is such a great thing!! And these fruity lip balms have been a part of my life since I was kid and my mom was an "Avon Lady" I use them everyday and they work great on chapped lips. Look in my makeup bag and you will find at least one of these flavors inside. The light fruity smell is so nostalgic, it makes me smile** {Cherry has got to be my favorite} At $0.98 I tend to buy these in bulk!!!

M.A.C Carbon Black Eyeshadow is my perfect eyeliner. I like things that last a long time, and I don't mind paying a higher price! This eyeshadow will last me for a while, goes on smooth and does not run....so at the end of the day I don't end up looking like a raccoon! At $14.50 it's worth the price if I know that I will have it for a while...and if I want some serious smokey eye, I can layer it on!!

This is my new best friend! Revlon Just Bitten Lipstain + Balm, it's like a marker for your lips!! It has staying power so I put it on and it will last me for a few hours...even if I drink or eat! It is the coolest thing that has recently come out, and the price is not bad, $7.69. I have it in two colors, this one here is Passion and it's a rosy pink tone that makes my lips look perfectly and naturally PINK! If it feels too dry then it has an attached clear balm at the other end...voila! perfection! I love color markers...now I have color markers for my lips!!

 Can you tell I love the color Red? Red lipstick, lipstain...and this cheek stain by Tarte in Flush. It is definitely a must have for me...Why? Because it will last me for a while, therefore the price is worth it! It is a water based gel tint that gives me a natural flushed look. It's makeup for those days that I don't want to wear makeup! At around $30.00, the price may be a bit high, but I really like the natural rosy cheeks that this tint gives me, therefore I recommend it!

My beauty essentials wouldn't be complete without mentioning the importance of having a skin regimen! I have been using moisturizer since I was around 17 years old, which is when I really started to wear makeup. My mother was the "Avon Lady" and she taught me the importance of taking care of my skin and of aging gracefully!! Now, in my 30's I am so grateful for that knowledge because my skin has almost no sign of aging {I know some women who are in their mid 20's with wrinkles} Avon is a great thing, I say it all the time! They have products for every age group, and now as I welcome my 30's, this line of skin care is something I never go without!! Avon Anew is a line of quality products that keep my skin looking and feeling great. I've been lucky to have inherited good skin, combination skin, I've never had a problem with acne or oily/dry skin. But sadly as you age you have to become consistent with your skin care. This works for me and the price is well worth it because it's not as expensive as department store brands and I know that it's good quality! I am OK with investing between $12-$35 to keep my skin looking good!!

One of my most important beauty MUST HAVE's is Groomed Eyebrows!!!!!!!!!!! Whatever you have to do to have perfectly groomed eyebrows is an essential! Whether you go to a pricey salon or to the corner nail shop; or if you DIY; tweezing, waxing, threading.....It is an important "must" that EVERY woman should do. Groomed eyebrows will give your face structure and will make your eyes stand out. I can't state this enough...I am anal when it comes to my eyebrows AND it is the first thing I notice when I look at a female. {If she has ugly eyebrows it makes me want to have a heart-to-heart with her} Price is not option for beautiful, clean brows!

...from Maria's Diary, when she was seventeen:

My aim is to understand love. I know how alive I felt when I was in love, and I know that everything I have now, however interesting it might seem, doesn't really excite me.

But love is a terrible thing: I've seen my girlfriends suffer and I don't want the same thing to happen to me. They used to laugh at me and my innocence, but now they ask me how it is I manage men so well. I smile and say nothing, because I know that the remedy is worse than the pain: I simply don't fall in love. With each day that passes, I see more clearly how fragile men are, how inconstant, insecure and surprising they are...a few of my girlfriend's fathers have propositioned me, but I've always refused. At first, I was shocked, but now I think it's just the way men are.

Although my aim is to understand love, and although I suffer to think of the people to whom I gave my heart, I see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart.


From Eleven Minutes

Ode to ::Chanel::

{When I am strutting around the streets with this bag, I will know that I have made it.}

My love for Chanel began a long time ago, my love for FASHION started when I was around 13 and I would watch the canadian show Fashion TV...I became obsessed with the runway shows and with Parisian fashion...I also became obsessed with Paris and everything French! Chanel stood out amongst the rest because it represented everything feminine, beautiful, classic, and stylish! Chanel represented the essence of WOMEN. The iconic Double C's have stood the test of time and although Mademoiselle Chanel was gone long before the fashion house entered my life, Monsieur Lagerfeld has done the house justice!! I hope to become a collector of beautiful things, and collecting beautiful Chanel pieces will be the QUEEN of my eclectic closet!!

{Chanel-esque} is the term I use when I am rocking the Black & White look or when I am rocking the LBD. My style is very eclectic; yet I definitely embrace some of the classics, such as the :Red Lipstick: Ray-Ban Aviators: Black & White: LBD:

Something to Live for::::MY Bucket List::::

I recently read a blog entry that inspired me to put my bucket list in writing. I've always kept a bucket list...mentally, but i've been inspired to put it down in writing.

Now, what is a bucket list...and why do they call it a "bucket list"? It is a list of things to do before you take your last breath in this fabulous earth. According to urban dictionary:: it comes from the term "kicked the bucket"... {i still don't know what a bucket has to do with it}

People create all types of bucket lists, long term, short term, travel ect...and this is MINE...i've narrowed it down to 20 things that I WILL do in my lifetime.

{it's about living your life while you still have life in you}

1. I want to set foot in EVERY continent...including Antarctica! {3 down, 4 to go}

2. Walk the Road to Santiago de Compostela.

3. Become a great photographer...and show at a gallery.

4. Become fluent in another language. {i'm leaning towards French or Portuguese since I already speak Spanish.}

5. Celebrate New Years Eve in Rio de Janeiro.

6. Go skydiving as a birthday celebration.

7. Cross country road trip.

8. Travel to Machu Pichu

9. Attend Burning Man.

10. See the Northern Lights.

11. Have a cozy beach property in Latin America {Brasil or El Salvador}

12. Fall in Love with an amazing man.

13. Learn to belly dance.

14. Donate money to animal charities.

15. I want to be able to send my parents on vacation; I want them to travel.

16. Have a romantic kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower.

17. Experience motherhood.

18. Go wine tasting in Napa Valley and stay at a B&B.

19. Backpack around Europe.

20. I want to learn to cook gourmet meals and host great dinner parties.

:::just because my list stops at 20 doesn't mean that these are the only things I want to do in this life....I could go on and on, I want to travel everywhere and learn as much as I can. I want to make this life a grand one full of stories to re-tell!!:::

...no "bling" in MY "bling"....

I LOVE accessories. I LOVE jewelry. Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Earrings...I love it all...

There is nothing delicate about my jewel accessories. I love big chunky silver rings, colored beaded bracelets, big earrings, and statement necklaces....

...these photos are my representation of MY "bling"

Lately i've gotten into creating my own bracelets. I call the Statement pieces because they are big colorful charm style pieces. I get ideas or I get inspiration while i'm out shopping and then I go to the wholesale district in downtown LA and I shop around and get creative!! I've sold a few pieces and hopefully I can keep growing it and keep the creativity flowing.

{I am beautiful}

[all images are my own]

...from Maria's Diary

Everything tells me that i'm about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?

I made my first mistake when I was eleven years old, when that boy asked if I could lend him a pencil; since then I've realized that sometimes you get no second chance and it's best to accept the gifts the world offers you. Of course it's risky, but is the risk any greater than the chance of the bus that took forty-eight hours to bring me here having an accident? If I must be faithful to someone or something, then I have, first of all, to be faithful to myself. If I'm looking for true love, I first have to get the mediocre loves out of my system. The little experience of life I've had has taught me that no one owns anything, that everything is an illusion- and that applies to material as well as spiritual things. Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever (as has happened often enough to me already) finally comes to realize that nothing really belongs to them

And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine; it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.

This is a journal entry from the main character in "Eleven Minutes" By Paulo Coelho.

It is something that looks like it could have come from my own personal journals. I have felt every single word in this book.

I am Maria.