Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Extract from Maria's Diary...

Today, while we were walking around the lake, along, that strange road to Santiago, the man who was with me- a painter, with a life entirely different from mine- threw a pebble into the water. Small circles appeared where the pebble fell, which grew and grew until they touched a duck that happened to be passing and which had nothing to do with the pebble. Instead of being afraid of that unexpected wave, he decided to play with it.

Some hours before that scene, I went into a cafe, heard a voice, and it was as if God had thrown a pebble into that place. The waves of energy touched both me and a man sitting in a corner painting a portrait. He felt the vibrations, and so did I. So what now?

The painter knows when he has found a model. The musician knows knows when his instrument is well tuned. here, in my diary, I am aware that there are certain phrases which are not written by me, but by a woman full of "light"; I am that woman though I refuse to accept it.

I could carry on like this, but I could also, like the duck on the lake, have fun and take pleasure in that sudden ripple that set the water rocking.

There is a name for that pebble: passion. It can be used to describe the beauty of an earth-shaking meeting between two people, but it isn't just that. It's there in the excitement of the unexpected, in the desire to do something with real fervor, in the certainty that one is going to realize a dream. Passion sends us signals that guide us through our lives, and it is up to me to interpret those signs.

I would like to believe that i'm in love. With someone I don't know and who didn't figure in my plans at all. All these months of self-control, of denying love,  have had exactly the opposite result: I have let myself be swept away by the first person to treat me a little differently.

It's just as well I don't have his phone number, that I don't know where he lives; that way I can lose him without having to blame myself for another missed opportunity.

And if that is what happens, if I have already lost him, I will have gained one very happy day in my life. Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle. 

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